dilemma

it involves decision making when in face of dilemmas. and very often, it means difficult ones that even after thorough consideration, you still cannot be confident enough to make the move, and even worse, it probably means the decision you make is never going to be a perfect one.

maybe it' s back to the problem of being perfect again. If I can go with just the 'best' choice under constraints, things would seem simpler and would consume so much less of my limited resources, both mental and physical.

Problem becomes more challenging when I am one who have high sensitivity to own bodily and mental states. with such high awareness, I am more than ready to scrutinize my own psychology and physiology. Such sensitivity enables one to seek early intervention and actively engage in prevention as appropriate, yet it also posts complication.

This seems a never ending issue i have to face. and the psychological challenge and physical discomfort appear every now and then, with certain regularity if I am bold enough to admit and recognize the source and root. The central question that remain meaningful after plenty of futile attempts to solve the matter, would be, how much external resources shall I rely on and how much internal self regulation and stength and resources I actually possess..

reflection..constant reflection..that entails no answer key..while only ????!!!!!

but after all, isnt it what makes life interesting..

奇妙的旅程

一段日子沒有這樣早就起來出門，儘管這星期都睡得不好，但早上起來沒有太累的感覺，卻只有期待。因為今天是我第一次親身支持他跑步比賽，而且比賽場地是迪士尼，感覺很輕鬆愉快的能整天都與他一起。坐迪士尼地鐵線時廣播著祝你有一個奇妙的旅程，確實不錯，亦能形容我對這一天的感覺。

我比賽表演時喜歡得到對自己重要的人支持，同樣地我都喜歡支持對我重要的人去做對他們有意義和重要的事。而且今天還有其他也認識的隊友參賽，令我覺得更不能錯過。想一想這星期難得地觀看了足球比賽，亦有幸地看到他的入球! 第一次，這星期有著不同的第一次，很滿足。做了自己沒有想像過的事感覺總是奇妙。下一次一起參賽，不知又會如何呢!

之後去了一直都想去的愉景灣，躺在草地上很舒適，走在寧靜一點的沙灘旁邊，很寫意，有點暫時離港的感覺。最後還去了愛爾蘭酒吧讓我緬懷了一番，一起看了第一次足球賽，很有趣。整整的一天，留影了不少，都把我們的歡笑拍下了。很喜歡很愛這種感覺。簡單而快樂。

奇妙的旅程，就在無意中展開了。

如此。這般

剛過去的兩星期過得很快，很充實，不知不覺有點累，累得在停下來時原來需要有個肩膀，需要被緊握著讓我可以放心停下。這個感覺其實一點都不陌生，但不同的在於所忙的事情不一樣，處於的環境不一樣，力量的來源更不一樣。

忍不住，始終都忍不住了。連自己都有點始料不及。不打算強忍，但亦不肯定是否可以就這樣釋懷。應該是第一次吧…凡事都總有第一次不是嗎？有點不知所措，有點安慰，有點感激…笑容，這樣就回來了。

然後突然有著很強烈的感覺，覺得世上很多東西都很奇妙。每一刻，你身處的地方，你身邊的人都可能是從來都沒有預料過，沒有想像過。下一刻，下一年的這一刻又會是怎樣? 一個又一個階段和經歷，都很奇妙，都要細意咀嚼。享受此刻，期盼下一刻。