9月27日

這幾天思緒的混亂，身體的不自在，精神的耗用，心情的忐忑，實在難以言喻。

一下子，最重要的三件事彷彿都在考驗著我。再一次挑戰我情感上的智慧。幸運的是我沒有過於亂七八糟。

還算趕上這一天，拾回點點信心，雖然身體累了，黑眼圈和眼袋持續了快一星期，但能把心中的一個洞填補了一點已經值得了。

接受。月圓

這幾天，因著朋友們的提問，令我開始懷疑自己有時候是否真的過於天真，過於簡單。然後因著他的提問，令我懷疑自己的沉著其實代表了什麼。

因著經歷，變得更豁達，接受能力更高。但開始有點不肯定自己的所謂接受，究竟是積極還是被動。

是太陽照耀下的影像，還是森林裡的影子?
是白天的寧靜，還是深夜獨處的寂寥?

中秋節將至，月會有多圓?

每分每秒

心情一如以往, 難免會受不同事務, 問題, 身邊的人與事所影響, 有上有落是最自然不過的現象. 至少感情豐富的我是. 但很感安慰的是這種上落已不再像從前那般過山車式, 亦多了點自控能力. 或許人大了, 多了經歷, 多了體會, 對每天發生的事和人生看得透切一點, 少了不必要的執著.

隨著環境, 角色的轉變, 要適應的確實不少. 過程未必盡如人意, 但暫時我都很享受著它帶來每一點一滴的喜怒哀樂. 這種感覺不容易用言語去表達, 自己的身體精神狀態卻清楚告訴了自己. 簡單舉例, 在忙碌的時候, 雖然疲倦卻很享受; 在擔心的時候, 雖然不安卻積極; 在驚悸的時候, 雖然未能即時處理, 卻清晰平靜...

嘗試體會, 實踐活在當下. 只想捉緊每分每秒. 還有什麼比每分每秒都感到那存在感與生命的精彩來得快樂?
與他的, 每一刻, 亦然.

why not?

sometimes things just happen the way you least expected. the way you see things, the way you feel and the way you make responses can be so diverse at different points in time. you are still who you are. but the experience just can be vastly unique which eventually lead to emotions that one enjoy or one annoy.

So grateful to embrace these two weeks. if we are to live,  we are to embrace.
Keep the sunshine, keep tye breeze, keep smiling.

那個我

請給我2012年7-8月的我。

Could i remain the one i enjoyed the most.

Unforgettable first game

First day of match. I was umpiring the game Brunei vs Maldives. It was quite an exciting game especially towards the last quarter last few minutes. Eventually they drew 26 vs 26. Incidents happened, I fell down at the first couple of minutes and sprained my ankle. I got up immediately and continued the game despite the fact that I knew inside my heart it was quite a bad sprained this time. Then near the end of the first quarter, another incident occurred due to the beep buzzer. I thought it was the end of the quarter while it was still 25 seconds left. I had a really shit quarter and felt so upset to start my first game so poorly in this tournament like this. I took sometimes to adjust myself and just told myself to forget about the first quarter, so that I could move on for the remaining game and got myself back on track and performed what I could. Eventually I managed to do it. I believe I have grown stronger as Julie said. It was worrying, but I settled nicely afterwards. I could have dragged on and had a bad game but I didn’t let that happen. It could have been disastrous. I would have my tears running badly after the game in the past, but I held this back today. It’s a good sign indeed.

Having such an interesting start of my tournament here, I really needed some comfort honestly. I really wanted him to be here with me, know what I’m going through and support me right here, tell me that I’ll be fine and I’m doing a great job already. But at the same time, I don’t want him to worry too much because I got to grow and learn the lesson and move on myself. I just want him to know something did happen, but I’ll be fine and I know he’ll be supporting me in his heart over the ocean. So I have the faith and the power to keep working for the remaining week before I can meet him and tell him everything I’ve gone through. I also don’t want my umpiring stop right after the first game here. It’s just the beginning. I will stay put and run hard and umpire hard till the last minute with the treatment and help from Physiotherapist of HK team. Then happily be received by him at the airport sharing good news on Sep 1. =) What a wonderful experience to start with. It makes this trip unforgettable.

Arrival - Sri Lanka

第一天到達斯里蘭卡, 由於只有我一個球証到了, 幸好有香港隊相伴, 不至於完全自己一個. 住在Galadari Hotel, 是一間很老牌的5星酒店. 這個國家暫時的一切都比想像中好. 整體上比印度還好呢. 下午吃過午飯就去了做Gym和Sauna，好讓身體不要停下來，準備之後的賽事。今天用了４美金上網可以跟他聊天，為明天比賽正式開始作最後準備真好～　＝）